Nourishing Your Independent Toddler

Applesauce with cinnamon

Somewhere between 12 and 18 months, your easy-going infant becomes a toddler striving to take control of his or her activities. When you want her to get dressed, she decides pajamas would be perfect for the park. When you call him to come in, he runs away laughing as you chase him. Mealtimes are the worst. While your baby ate anything you put in front of her, you may now have a finicky eater on your hands. Don’t let the table become a battleground. Here are a few ways to make meals enjoyable for the whole family and to help your child develop a healthy attitude toward food.

Encourage Independence

Allow your child to feed himself. Let food be something he wants and goes after rather than something he submits to. Prepare bite-size dishes like noodles, diced tofu, steamed broccoli florets, and diced carrots. Kids love to dip things. Serve pancakes, french toast, or waffles with applesauce  for dunking. Encourage, but don’t force, your toddler to try different foods. Allow your child to have some choice in what he eats.

Accept the Method

If your toddler is most comfortable using her fingers, let her. If she manages to use a spoon or fork, all the better. Don’t discourage any effort your children make to eat on their own. To encourage your baby to spoon-feed herself, serve a bowl of her favorite food with a small, easy-to-manage spoon. Try applesauce, mashed sweet squash, etc.

Permit Any Order

Oatmeal with nuts and dried fruitsLet your kids eat food in the order they choose. If they want to eat applesauce first and vegetables last, that is their prerogative. Both of my daughters pick all the raisins out of their oatmeal to eat first. I used to be afraid they wouldn’t eat their cereal afterwards but they always did. Children notice if you are placing more importance on sweet food. Example works very well here. Let them see that you enjoy your broccoli and carrots as much as fruit or cookies.

Keep It Simple

Chances are if you go through a lot of trouble preparing a fancy, gourmet meal for your children, that will be the dish they refuse. Toddlers’ tastes change from day to day, and you will end up frustrated or disappointed if they won’t eat your special dinner. Don’t make your child feel guilty if he genuinely doesn’t like what you have prepared. Simply give him something easy like a bowl of rice or peanut-butter toast, and let the rest of the family enjoy what you have prepared.

Believe Your Child Will Not Go Hungry

Toddlers often refuse to eat their meals causing their parents to worry. Pediatricians agree this should not be a source of concern. Your child will eat when she is hungry and missing a meal here or there will not cause malnourishment. We have our toddler sit at the table with us at mealtime even if she doesn’t want to eat. Usually, it’s only a few minutes before she realizes she is missing out and reaches for her meal. Try not to make a big issue out of getting your children to eat. The more they see it is important to you, the more they will dig in their heels and resist.

Limit Snacks

Lunch box fruit saladYour children will not eat meals if they spend the day snacking. Establish a morning and afternoon snack time. Serve healthful snacks like fruit, crackers, etc. Avoid sugary or salty snacks as they encourage overeating. Give water between meals as other beverages can leave your child too full to eat his meal. Serve nondairy milk or juice with meals if desired.

Do Not Mix Food With Discipline

Toddlers are constantly testing their limits. Resist the temptation to use food as a bribe, reward, or punishment, as this will not foster a healthy relationship with food. A treat should not be given because a child is good and withheld when she is naughty. Treats are simply on the menu some days and not on the menu other days.

Know When to End the Meal

When your child stops eating or says she has had enough, end the meal. Don’t insist she finish every bite on the plate. Some food may be wasted, but insisting a sated child finish his meal is not healthy. Kids know when they are full. Encourage them to listen to their bodies so they will not overeat. Treat your pet or compost pile to the leftovers.

Enjoy Mealtime

Tense, stressful mealtimes will not help your children to develop a positive attitude toward food. Certain rules to maintain order, i.e. no yelling or throwing food, are necessary for the enjoyment of the rest of the family. More subtle table manners can be learned by example rather than authority. Your child wants to act grown up and will try to imitate you. Young children may act up at mealtimes because they are bored. Include your toddler in conversation so he feels part of the family. It’s a great time for your child to practice speaking and increase her vocabulary. You may be surprised by what your toddler has to say.

Cathe Olson is the author of Simply Natural Baby FoodThe Vegetarian Mother’s Cookbook,and Lick It! Cream, Dreamy Vegan Ice Creams Your Mouth Will Love.For more information and sample recipes, visit Cathe at Simply Natural Books.

*This post contains affiliate links. If the product is purchased by linking through this review, VegKitchen receives a modest commission, which helps maintain our site and helps it to continue growing!

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4 comments on “Nourishing Your Independent Toddler

  1. Amrita

    Thank you! I am always worried at mealtime because my daughter refuses to even look at food. She is very mischievous and articulate for her age but she simply will not eat. This article made me feel a little better as i recall her taking small bites out of her sandwich or rice when she thinks I’m not looking.

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